When I Realised My Foster Child Had No Awareness of Danger!

I will never forget the first week our new foster son moved in. We were walking down our quiet street when, without warning, he bolted off the curb and ran straight toward a moving car. My heart stopped. I grabbed his arm just in time. He was not being naughty—he simply had no idea that what he had done was dangerous.

Over the next few days, I started noticing other things: climbing to the very top of the playground equipment and leaning over the edge, reaching for a hot pot on the stove, chatting with strangers as if we were all old friends. It was not defiance; it was as if the part of his brain that should whisper “Be careful” had never been switched on.

Understanding Why

As I learned more about his history, it began to make sense. He had experienced years of neglect and had moved from home to home. No one had consistently taught him what was safe or unsafe. He had also learned to be very independent at a young age—if you have had to fend for yourself, checking with an adult first might not even occur to you.

Later a therapist explained that some children, especially those with ADHD, Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder, or sensory processing issues, genuinely struggle to judge risk. Impulsivity, delayed development, and disrupted attachment all combine to create a child who rushes ahead without caution.

It helped me to stop labelling it as “bad behaviour and start seeing it as a missing skill. Just like reading or tying shoes, safety awareness is something that can be taught—but it takes patience, repetition, and a calm, consistent environment.

What Helped Us

I had to change my approach. Instead of assuming “He knows this already,” I started treating safety like a skill we would practice over and over. Here are some of the things that worked for us:

Short, Consistent Rules

We used simple phrases: “Stop at the road,” “Hold my hand,” “Wait for me.” I repeated them every time, even if it felt like a broken record. The consistency helped him predict what would happen and eventually remember it on his own.

Practice in Real Life

We role-played crossing the street and answering the door. Sometimes we would act out “safe” versus “unsafe” together in a playful way. Pretend-play let him practice without the pressure of a real emergency.

Visual Cues

I made little “stop” signs on index cards. He loved holding them up himself when we got to the road. We also used hand signals for “stop” and “come back.” Visual cues gave him an extra layer of information to process.

Close Supervision

For months, I kept him within arm’s reach in busy places. It was not overprotective; it was necessary until the skill stuck. Staying close also allowed me to intervene before something dangerous happened.

Predictability and Trust

The more predictable our routines became, the more he started looking to me before acting. That was a huge breakthrough. Children who have had inconsistent caregiving sometimes do not automatically trust adults to keep them safe. Building that trust takes time, but it is worth it.

Professional Support

We also worked with a child psychologist , who gave us strategies for impulse control and sensory regulation. Having professional input reassured me that I was not overreacting and that there were tools to help.

Looking Back

It took time—months of repetition and patience—but slowly, he began to pause at the road. He started glancing at me before climbing too high. One day he even warned me about a hot pan. Those moments felt like small miracles.

If you are a foster parent living this right now, know that you are not alone and you are not doing anything wrong. A child’s lack of danger awareness is not bad behaviour it is a skill gap. With patience, consistency, and support, that gap can close.

Final Thoughts

Foster children often come to us with invisible wounds. Not knowing what is dangerous is one of them. But just like learning to read or tie shoes, safety awareness can be taught. It is slow, repetitive work, but it pays off in peace of mind and, most importantly, in a safer, more secure child.

If you are at the beginning of this journey, give yourself grace. Celebrate small steps forward, reach out for professional help when you need it, and remember you are not just keeping a child safe today—you are teaching them skills that will protect them for a lifetime.